Dear Reader, If U can..please answer me....

What is the definition of a best friend??? Is it someone who understands ur feelings even before you thought of telling them or is it someone whom you will always find in your needs???? or is it something else..little bit hazy...somewhat undefined?????

I dont know whether I have any best friends or not...but certainly there is someone who unknowingly does all the things a best friend supposed to do...she encourages me when I'm down, shares many things about her with me...compels me to tell the reason If I send a sad smiley ever...just like she's always with me...

You know..I first met her in the year 2007...she looked somewhat different from others to me. Her cute, yet vibrant innocence and charm instantly caught my eye. Though it took me nearly a year and half to, to even make myself talk with her...but no, no...dont think I am foolishly introvert or something like that...yeah, I agree that I am a little introvert, but some incidents just on and before 2007 made me little arrogant and skeptical...which I regret even now...but, will talk about that in some other post maybe.

As I was saying...we all can understand when a friend becomes a best friend...but when suddenly a best friend becomes something more, happens so instantly that it leaves you wondering in uncertainty. This is precisely what happened with me. We became friends, good friends...perhaps best friends...and gradually, I didn't even realized at that point, when I started to like her among all of my very very good friends. Still, I haven't realized that I would find it that hard not to be able to interacting with her anymore.

Then, on 3rd June 2011, the day of our clg fest UTOPIA...the last day as of now, we were together...SURAJ JAGAN was rocking the stage with BHAG BHAG DK BOSE, JA CHUDAIL & GIVE ME SOME SUNSHINE...and suddenly I realized that I wont be able to see her from the next day...my legs automatically stopped moving. I tried to find her in the maze of dancing students...she was happily enjoying with her friends...I felt happy somewhat...there was still an hour to go...but an hour seemed as a second....:-(

Finally, just before the programs for the night ended, I went to her for a good bye wish...she sweetly returned another wish to me.It was like I could spent the rest of life standing there like that if time had become standstill...but, quickly came back to reality. At the time of leaving college that night, I cried....cried after 4 long years...

Almost 8 months passed, and why I am saying all this now??? I know, I should have done the right thing and approached her about this...but I was afraid....afraid of losing a good friend...afraid of losing someone with whom I feel like my world...afraid of hearing a NO...because, someone else has sucked out all the strengths in my heart and made me emotionally weak...and from what I heard, she already had a boyfriend.

I have never thought that I will fall in love with someone like this...but guess what, these things doesnt happen with prior warning...do they??? Luckily enough for me, she is one of the very few friends of mine who has kept contact with me after college. Maybe someday I will have the courage to tell her...and if I dont, then please dear blog, keep this thing between me n you...

I am dedicating these lines to her through you...

hansogi to jeet jaogi....rougi to dil dukhaogi,
chahe pas rahun na rahun... hamesha apne sath paogi...